Lesson from my Dad #1: Give yourself credit and praise yourself freely!

My sister and I lost our dad 8 years ago today to pancreatic cancer. It took a few weeks to process and began grieving properly. At that time, I shared my dad's "life lessons" on social media to pay tribute to his life. Since I started teaching a few years ago, I often find myself quoting my dad. I thought I'd write some posts of his "lessons" and how they relate to teaching young musicians.

So here it goes. 

Lesson #1: Give yourself credit and praise yourself freely!

My dad was the youngest of 3, with two brilliant older brothers. Being raised in Japan, I have a feeling he didn't often get praised by his parents. Perhaps this is a skill he developed as a child. Most men in his generation tend to be more humble, but my dad was different. He always took credit for everything he did and said, and he even took credit for his kids' accomplishments. He often said (jokingly, I think?) it's because of his wonderfully brilliant DNA, we succeeded. 😂

I somehow find this to be healthy and helpful. In school, you get weekly lessons from your applied teacher who gives you feedback. You take classes where you get grades. You perform in ensembles where the director provides affirmations and corrections. The problem is, once you're out of school, you get less feedback if any. Sure, you will have mentors and bosses in the real world, but you need your own compass to gauge your progress. As musicians, we are SO GOOD at focusing on what's wrong with our performance, but not so good at spotting what we have done well.

Being able to give yourself credit and praise your own progress are such useful skills. It's much less frustrating than waiting for other people to give you approval. 

My dad on Lake Austin, pretending to paddle on kayak circa 2010

Stay tuned for more "lessons" in the coming week!