Continuing with lessons I learned from my dad's life. Previous post can be found here: Lesson #1
Lesson #2: Don't take yourself too seriously
Ever since I remember, my dad would get excited and cheered "お！やったー” whenever we broke a plate or a glass by accident. This might be why I am still careless, because I never lived with a fear of being scolded from accidentally breaking things. He taught us that it's ok to make mistakes- just celebrate!
My dad was a smart man and successful in his own right, but oftentimes people (myself included) undermined him. Being an agreeable man with thick Japanese accent in a Southern state didn't help either. He never took offense at people's behaviors towards him. If I got upset at someone's rude behavior or comments, my dad would say "かわいそうだと思え” (feel sorry for them)- meaning, they must be sad and/or angry to act that way. As I got older, I was able to think in a similar way.
Being an Asian female conductor in Southern states (TX, KY, TN), I've heard questionable comments from various constituents. I don't get offended now, because 1. if they didn't know their behavior was borderline offensive, well, bless your heart; or 2. if they meant to be rude, well, I feel sorry for ya.
The best thing about not taking myself too seriously is that I don't have to spend energy getting offended or being upset. This allows me to focus on what's really important, so I can get my work done. If a musician challenges me while I'm on the podium, I don't get frazzled. I can still focus on the music and my job as a conductor, instead of getting upset at the encounter.
Now, this doesn't mean you don't stand up for yourself. Not taking yourself too seriously allows you to sort through small petty incidents so you can focus on what's more important. Also, do always stick up for the ones that depend on you, such as your students and family.
My dad was also goofy. At my wedding, right before we walked out, he said "I'm going to trip on purpose." He said he wanted to make people laugh so they relax. Luckily, he didn't, because I'm pretty sure my mom would've killed him, and let's face it, he was the most nervous person there.
I am also not afraid to be goofy or silly, if the situation requires lightness. I like to have fun, especially when we make music. I know that when we are having fun, we make better music. Being able to not take myself too seriously, I can use humor as a way to lighten up the environment.
So next time you make a mistake, laugh it off! It's really going to be ok!
Tune in again in the future for more lessons from my dad 😝
