Lesson from my Dad #1: Give yourself credit and praise yourself freely!

My sister and I lost our dad 8 years ago today to pancreatic cancer. It took a few weeks to process and began grieving properly. At that time, I shared my dad's "life lessons" on social media to pay tribute to his life. Since I started teaching a few years ago, I often find myself quoting my dad. I thought I'd write some posts of his "lessons" and how they relate to teaching young musicians.

So here it goes. 

Lesson #1: Give yourself credit and praise yourself freely!

My dad was the youngest of 3, with two brilliant older brothers. Being raised in Japan, I have a feeling he didn't often get praised by his parents. Perhaps this is a skill he developed as a child. Most men in his generation tend to be more humble, but my dad was different. He always took credit for everything he did and said, and he even took credit for his kids' accomplishments. He often said (jokingly, I think?) it's because of his wonderfully brilliant DNA, we succeeded. 😂

I somehow find this to be healthy and helpful. In school, you get weekly lessons from your applied teacher who gives you feedback. You take classes where you get grades. You perform in ensembles where the director provides affirmations and corrections. The problem is, once you're out of school, you get less feedback if any. Sure, you will have mentors and bosses in the real world, but you need your own compass to gauge your progress. As musicians, we are SO GOOD at focusing on what's wrong with our performance, but not so good at spotting what we have done well.

Being able to give yourself credit and praise your own progress are such useful skills. It's much less frustrating than waiting for other people to give you approval. 

My dad on Lake Austin, pretending to paddle on kayak circa 2010

Stay tuned for more "lessons" in the coming week! 

Advice for young musicians: How to prioritize your time

I am aware of the irony here, as I type this post while avoiding to finish my portfolio for annual Faculty Evaluation and Third Year Review. 

Today, I would like to discuss how to manage prioritize your time.  My students often ask me "how do you manage everything." Currently I juggle two jobs, a family, and MBA program. As a naturally anxious person and a multi-tasker, I always get things done. I love crossing things off my "to do" list. So, you would assume that my life is in order. NOPE! If you have seen my office or visited our home, you know that it's disorderly, to put it mildly. I stopped using the word "time management" a few years ago, because I realized we don't really manage time. Our actions are based on priority, and having a clear understanding of your values and preferences, and setting goals and concrete action plan along the way, will definitely help you prioritize your time. 

I use Trello app to keep track. This can be used on desktop and/or mobile.

So here are some tips on how to prioritize your time. 

First, make a list of things that matter to you in order of importance. This list will change as you go through life. For example, when I was a students, it was:

1. School; 2. Anything conducting related; 3. Health; 4. Socializing

As a classic introvert, I never had a need to socialize, so that freed up a lot of my time. When I was a young(er) professional, my list was same as above, except #1 became "Career advancement."

As a middle-aged, mid-career conductor/educator with a family, my current priority is

1. Family; 2. Health; 3. Anything teaching/conducting/work related; 4. Socializing

Once you have your list, start putting together a calendar.

For example, I enter performance dates in my calendar first, as those are planned months in advance. If I have any important family events, I enter those next. I now make medical appoints months in advance. When I was in my 20s and 30s, I would forego doctor's or dentist's visits for years because something always came up. I register for races (10K or sprint Tri) so I have a motivation to get out and run jog regularly. Then when an offer to guest conduct comes in, I put those in my calendar as well. After being in the field for 2 decades, I don't feel the urge to fill up my calendar with every opportunity that comes into my inbox. When I say health, I mean both physical AND mental health. I try to give myself at least one, preferably two, days of rest per week to recharge. As an introvert, it takes a lot of energy to be around people, and I need time alone in order to be engaging on and off the podium. 

As a music student, you should put your performance dates in your calendar, then due dates for major projects for classes. From there, start constructing a timeline with incremental goals. For example, if you have your solo recital scheduled in mid-April, set goals along the way in reverse order. (disclaimer: I just made up this arbitrary goals to support my explanation. I realize this isn't a practical planning for a recital prep.)

    -end of March- run-through of the program at 100% tempo

    -end of February- Music learned at 90% or tempo

    -end of January- find pianist, music learned at 80% tempo. 

From this, you can assign smaller milestones along the way. It can be daunting to look at the list of things you have to accomplish in a given amount of time. If you break down into smaller steps, it feels manageable and gives you a sense of accomplishment when you complete each task.

Each person is allotted 24 hours a day, so it's up to you to prioritize your own time. My suggestion is to make sure that your basic needs are met first: food, sleep, safety. Some people need full 8 hours of sleep. Some can function well with less hours. Clearly I never prioritized cleaning (my husband and my former roommates can attest to this), my appearance, or socializing, but most people need to attend to these to live an orderly and sane life. Everyone has their own set of values, thank goodness, otherwise the entire world would be a pigsty and most apparel industries would go bankrupt. As a student, I would dedicate100% effort into classes that mattered to me, but 80% or less to classes I cared less (Astronomy and Texas History, for example). Not many people can put their 100% effort into everything they do. That's why we need to prioritize. 

Lastly, having a support system is immensely important. As a graduate student, I had very patient and caring roommates who took care of me and my dog Maggie Moo. They dealt with my mess and fed me when I was finishing up my degree. Now, I have a husband who supports me and my neurosis. Out of all the mess, approximately 70% are mine and 30% are our son's. He also manages most of our son's school and sports activities, freeing up my mental real estate to attend to other things. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. If your weakness takes up too much time and energy, and if it is possible to delegate, go ahead and delegate! It's ok to ask for help.

I will now get off my high horse and go back to editing my portfolio. Wish me luck!

Advice for young musicians: How to ask for recommendation letters

 Happy New Years everyone! 

Today, I would like to offer some advice on "How to ask for recommendation letters."

As a relatively new academic, it is absolutely a joy to write letters of recommendations in support of my students' future. I am honored to be trusted with this important task. Last few months, I wrote a fair number of letters for my students applying for graduate schools, scholarships, and music festivals. I thought I'd offer some pointers that might be helpful.

1. Whom should you ask? - This should be a thoughtful process. Make a list of professors, conductors, mentors that know you well. Then ask yourself some questions. For example: Did I represent myself well in front of this person?; Was I reliable?; Was I professional?; Were my interactions consistent?; Does this person know me well?; etc. Also, make sure your recommender is relevant to the institution you're applying to. For example, if you're applying for a scholarship sponsored by a religious institution, perhaps the music director of a church you perform at is better suited than a manager at a grocery store you work at. 

2. Once you decide on the list, ask for their permission. This can be verbal or via email. Example: "Dear Professor/Dr. ___, I am planning to apply for several graduate schools for Master's Degree in performance. May I list you as a reference? Thank you for your support! Sincerely, ____" This is always a helpful step for a recommender. The graduate school applications are generally due in December, which is the busiest time of the year. When I get a heads up weeks in advance, it allows me to prepare the letter when I have a moment. It might also be a good opportunity to verify their contact information and most up-to-date title they hold. Also, it's helpful to attach your updated resume in this email.

3. If the recommender does not feel comfortable being your reference, hopefully they will be honest with you. I have declined to be a recommender for various reasons, including not knowing the applicant well, or I didn't think I would be able to provide a positive support for their application. However, asking yourself proper questions (listed in #1 above) in advance should eliminate this awkward step.

4. Once you submit the applications, give the recommender a heads up with the list of institutions you applied for. In some cases, the link sent by an institution can end up in my junk mailbox. I would hate to be the reason my student does not get accepted into a program, just because a link got routed to my junk mailbox.

5. If you do not receive the letter in a timely manner, kindly and respectfully nudge the recommender. Example: "Dear Professor/Dr. ___, I just checked the application status for X, Y and Z universities, and they are missing a letter from you. Would you mind checking your spam/junk mailbox? Thank you! Sincerely, ___"

6. Optional: Report back to your recommenders with your news! Yes, we are constantly drowning in emails, but I get really happy to receive emails from my students with the news of their success, their plan for the next year, etc. So drop a note and keep us posted!

I hope this is helpful. Best wishes to those who are continuing on with your music journey!

My tool box: Brooks Adrenaline

Happy New Year!

Welp, it's been over a year since I posted here.

Today I'd like to talk to you about running and my trusted running partner Brooks Adrenaline!

I've been running (or as my son says "mom, you don't run, you jog,") since graduate school. I've tried a few different shoes, but I always come back to Brooks Adrenaline for stability for my flat-feet and over-pronation. 

To keep track of my running, I mean jogging, I use the Runkeeper app. It keeps track of the distance, pace, mood, and route. 

Conducting can be a stressful profession. I find running enables me to clear my mind or allows the music to germinate in my brain while it tries to make sense of it all. It also helps relax the upper body, which is essential to get the blood flowing to the shoulders and arms. As a perk of running in Texas, you may run into armadillos!

Happy Trails, everyone!

Kayoko